I hated myself for the longest time.

One of the reason’s I’m so passionate about my work is because I struggled with low self-esteem and feeling unworthy most of my life – not just because I didn’t feel beautiful, but because I felt unlovable and worthless.

low self-esteem I hate myself

I was emotionally and sexually abused from the ages about 6-12, and involved in an abusive relationship in high school. Then, because apparently I learn the hard way, I married a man who was verbally and emotionally abusive. By the time that marriage ended, I was an empty shell of the person I used to be. I had zero self-esteem and didn’t even know who I was anymore.

I compensated for my low self-esteem by being an over-achiever, thinking that I could earn my worth by doing enough. Well, if you’ve ever tried to do that, you know that it doesn’t work. Not in the long run. Because after every A grade, after every award I earned or competition I won, I was left with me, laying on my bed at night still feeling crappy about myself, and looking for the next achievement to help me feel worthy. It was a never ending cycle, because I was looking for external validation – someone to tell me I was worthy – rather than looking inside myself to find my worth.

I didn’t feel worthy of my dreams.

From the time I can remember, I wanted to be a writer. When I was old enough to read grown-up novels, I wanted to be the next Stephen King. But my lack of self-worth really held me back from pursuing my dreams.

Instead of pursuing a degree in English, writing, or even journalism, I got a Bachelor’s of Biological Sciences and a Master’s of Physical Therapy. My physical therapy career was very rewarding. But I went that direction mostly because I didn’t have enough faith in myself to pursue my life-long dream of being a writer.

Not only that, my low self-esteem kept me a prisoner to doubt, fear, and guilt. It kept me from enjoying my life, and quite honestly, it kept me from fulfilling the purpose I was created for.

I was afraid to be myself. I wore a proverbial mask to hide my true self from the world, because I was ashamed of who I was and what had happened to me.

It took decades to transform my low self-esteem.

I finally had enough. I got fed up with feeling unworthy. I got sick of seeing other people pursue their dreams when I barely remembered what my dreams were anymore. I got tired of letting my past control my present, and letting other people define who I was. I started a journey of self-discovery and emotional healing to re-discover who I was and who I was made to be.

Along the way, I discovered some things that worked, and a lot of things that didn’t. I realized that most “self-improvement” programs only give part of the solution. And, ultimately, I learned that to truly transform your self-worth, you have to do things in a certain order.

Now I know, without doubt, that I am a unique and amazing masterpiece who was created with a purpose, and a plan. I know who I am and what I stand for, and what I’m put here on this earth to do.

Knowing my self-worth changed everything.

holly-and-hushand-2016I married an amazing, caring man and we have 2 beautiful children. I’ve written 8 books in the last few years, realizing my dream of being an author. But that’s not all.

I also discovered my talents.

I found my passion.

I let go of the guilt that told me I’m supposed to be content with what I have, and not want more. The guilt that told me my desire for success was arrogant and self-serving. The guilt that told me I simply wasn’t good enough to make my dreams come true. (Any of this sound familiar?)

Now I’m able to get out there with confidence.

And more importantly, I’m able to make a difference in the lives of countless women.

See, if hadn’t worked so hard to improve my low self-esteem, if I’d remained stuck feeling worthless and constantly doubting myself, I’d never have gotten my work out to the world. I would have continued playing small, and no one would have benefited. I’d be wasting the talents God gave me.

But because I know my self-worth, I have the confidence to make a difference in the world.

Do you have the confidence to impact the world the you’re meant to?

Time and again, I talk to women who feel much the same way I did. Women who doubt themselves. Women who don’t know their worth. Women who sabotage themselves and don’t go after their dreams because they feel unworthy. Or successful women who feel like a fraud, constantly afraid they’ll be “found out” when someone discovers they’re not all they claim to be (even though they’re all that, and more). It breaks my heart.

That’s why I do what I do.

My mission is to empower women to reveal their brilliance and reclaim their worth. To heal the wounds of their past. To silence their Inner Mean Girl who torments them with guilt and shame. To heal their low self-esteem and give themselves permission to stand out and be awesome. To discover, love, and live their authentic selves so they have to confidence to live their purpose.

If you want to use your talents to impact the world in a much bigger way, if you want to conquer your low self-esteem once and for all, if you’re ready to get out of your own way and really make a difference in this world, then let’s talk!

My gift to you is a complimentary Rediscover Radiance Discovery Call to discuss how guilt, shame and low self-esteem may be keeping you from achieving the success you want in life and business. You’ll come away with a clear understand of what’s holding you back, and know your best next step to move forward. Apply for your free session today. Go ahead. You’re worth it 😉